So, I just got back from the auditions for Jeffrey, and I have to say, I’m freaking out a little. I went into this audition with absolutely no expectations. It was primarily for me to get a feel for the process they use, and to get my face seen a bit, so they recognize me next time. And, I’ll admit, it was also to get me out of the house for something other than going to a bar.
Now, I didn’t totally discount getting a part. I’m a good actor. And one of my specialties is doing a variety of parts. There are three parts in this show that do several roles. I thought I might get one of those parts. Maybe.
The director did have me read several of the parts involved in those three multi-role people. But he also had me read for Jeffrey. The lead. Which is fine, as a director myself, I often have people read for roles I’m not really considering them for, just to see what they can do.
But he also asked me to stay until the end of the audition. A number of other people were told they were done, and had already left. And the last several times I read, I was reading the part of Jeffrey. In fact, I was the only one reading the part of Jeffrey. Now, that doesn’t mean anything, really. The director could have certainly have just wanted to see me read more often because I’m an unknown quantity to him. But it could also mean that he is very interested in casting me in that role.
And that is what has me freaking out. I haven’t been on stage in over 2 years now. And Jeffrey is in almost every scene in this show (hence the show being named after him). That’s a lot of lines, a lot of blocking, a lot of acting, and a lot of memorizing. The show essentially succeeds or fails on his shoulders. That’s a lot of responsibility. Yes, I know I can do it, but still…it’s been a long time.
Then, there is what I call the “Natalie syndrome.” Did you ever see the episode of The Facts of Life where Natalie is trying out for South Pacific? She really wants the lead, but is afraid to say so for fear of tempting the fates. I love being on stage, and I don’t really care about the specific part. There are supporting roles that can be a lot of fun, sometimes more so than the lead. There are very few parts that I have ever really said, “Wow, I need to play that some day.” But this is one of them. I really want this part. I really, really, really want this part. I wouldn’t let myself say so earlier, because I didn’t think it was in the realm of possibility. But now it seems it is. Maybe. But just the possibility is making me all nervous again. I really want this part, and now I’m scared I might blow it. There are callbacks tomorrow night, which I have been told to come to. So it isn’t out of my hands yet. I gave a great read tonight, hopefully I’ll do just as good tomorrow, and land this role. If not, any of the other parts would be great as well. But I really, really, really want to play Jeffrey. I guess I’ll just have to freak out more until tomorrow night. Ugh.
Editor’s Note: I began writing this right after I came back from the audition, but got so tired I couldn’t see straight, so I continued it the next day, which is why it is posted on a different date from the last post. I am actually now about to get ready to leave for the callback. More on that tomorrow morning.